gossip oh

Can you believe that? Her husband..... The voices trail off as I come around the corner, and there's an almost palpable silence as I try to focus on anywhere else than the knowing eyes focused on my face.

I end up staring at the wall. 'Um, here's your papers' I say, brandishing an armload and praying I don't go beet red. Inside, different parts of my personality are warring - the reserved teenager I once was is duking it out with the more-confident late-thirties woman I am now, one who would like to be judged on her own merits, thank you very much. No matter what (inaccurate) thing you think my husband did.

I hate being the target of gossip, and people gossiping around me give me the heebies as well.  If you're uncomfortable being around anyone who's dishing out gossip, here are some examples of what to say:

“I have to be honest, I don’t think that talking about the problems that ______ is having behind her/his back is going to help her/him.”

“As _______’s friend, I think that we should think of better ways to support her/him instead of talking about her/him. Let’s ask _______ how s/he would like us to do that.”

“I am uncomfortable discussing this and I think it’s inappropriate. I know that my feelings would be hurt if I knew my friends were talking about my personal problems and spreading things around.

Employers are taking note of the toll gossip can take on their workers and their productivity, and changing Employee Assistance programs to be prepared to help employees who have been the target of gossip - or to assist others in finding appropriate conversational skills in the workplace, as this Cracker Barrel EAP states.

Gossip in the workplace has a boomerang effect, causing stress and feelings of doubts on your abilities, which in turn can cause physical strain, thereby lowering your immune system.

So not only is gossip just rude, it can be unhealthy too. And it's certainly not the part of your work ethic that you want to showcase for your children. So when you go home and prepare to tell your husband about the woman at work who is re-mortgaging her house so her husband can afford a fishing boat, remember - they're soaking Mommy's attitude up like little sponges.

So please! Be the one at work who talks about the latest tv shows, the weather or politics - but don't be the Up-to-Date Nancy who knows (and tells) all about everyone.

Your health (and your next promotion!) could be counting on it.

 

This is an original post for BlogHers Act Canada. Jessica also blogs at daysgoby.

Comments

[Gratton Grapevine]

I had a coworker once (back when I was a teacher) who would just get up and walk out of the staff room once gossip began.

We all admired her example.

Unfortunately, she was still doing a lot of getting up and walking out by the time I left for mat leave.