All Aboard the Crazy Train! We're Talking about Postpartum Depression

I never thought depression would happen to me. I naively thought that depression affects those who have something traumatic happen in their lives. I will admit that was completely uneducated as to how depression affects us. That was until it affected me.

When my maternal grandfather passed away in 1997 my family was devastated. Not only did we lose someone we loved immensely but we lost the glue that held our fragile family together. Over the past ten years that side of my family had deteriorated to virtually non-existent. No visits, not even Christmas or Birthday cards. Essentially my mother cut herself off from her family - justly I believe - which percolated down the line leaving my brother and I without contact with our extended family on the maternal side.

When all this began, I unintentionally found out that my mother had sought out professional help by ways of Prozac. She, seemingly embarrassed, brushed it off as nothing. I didn't see it as nothing; instead it was the embarrassed part that stuck with me. I began to worry about her because OMG! My mother is medicated. She's losing her shit!  was the mentality of depression. The social stigma of depression classified my mom as a nut job.

To this day, I believe that's still the case.

No, not that my mom's a nut job - but the social stigma of needing 'medical intervention' for depression.

After the birth of my first son I thought I had my shit together. I thought all was fine and this was just the way it was being a new mother: the crying, the aggravation, the fighting with my husband. It wasn't until my mother and step-dad sat down with Mike and I and had, what I refer to as - an intervention. They were seeing things I wasn't and that Mike would not bring up.

Someone who was not so close to the situation had to step in and say that there was something amiss, and though I was resentful at the time I now see how beneficial it really was.

Postpartum Depression (PPD), and though I didn't know until recently that's what I was diagnosed with, I can very much see it now after the birth of my second child; and according to the Canadian Metal Health Association, I'm not alone. They estimate its occurrence ranging from 3% to 20% of births, and can begin at any time between delivery and 6 months post-birth, and may last up to several months or even a year.

Though references of PPD date back as far as the fourth century, BC its not always been recognized as an illness and therefore is still under diagnosed. Because its symptoms are so widespread, PPD seems to be a little more difficult to pinpoint unless the 'patient' is forthcoming with information about their symptoms and feelings.

For me the real kicker was my rage. I would lose my shit on Mike for just about anything. Hell, the poor guy breathed wrong and I was all over him. He could do nothing right and everything was wrong! We would fight incessantly: I even remember one time us screaming at each other while Carter screamed in my arms. (That memory still breaks my heart.)

When a mom suffers from postpartum depression it can be hard for them to realize it, and that's why it's so important to have that support group, who is somewhat detached from the every day occurrences and is able to pinpoint the behaviours which may go unnoticed by others.

The best thing you can do for someone you love is speak up.

You may notice, or they may have mentioned some of the following:

• Depressed mood or extreme sadness
• Crying spells for no apparent reason
• Guilty thoughts or feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness
• Restlessness, lack of control, or lack of energy
• Difficulty concentrating or disorganized thoughts
• Feelings of guilt or inadequacy as a mother-to-be
• Changes in sleep or appetite e.g. sleeping or eating too little or       too much
• Withdrawing from partner, family, friends, co-workers
• Thoughts of suicide or other frightening thoughts of hurting others

Postpartum Depression is not the mother's fault.

It is no ones fault.

It does not mean they're crazy or that they will harm their child. 

It does not make women that suffer a second-rate or incompetent parent. 

If you know someone who is suffering, or who you think may be suffering, stand-up for them. Say something and they just may speak up knowing you're behind them.

If you think you may be suffering from postpartum depression, or know someone who may be here are some local resources which may be able to help out. Firstly, talk to them, consult a physician, but most of all, be supportive.

Canadian Mental Health Association

Postpartum Depression Support Groups in Canada

Public Health Agency of Canada

Postpartum Support - ParentsCanada.com

PPD Hope - US Support

Online Postpartum Depression Support Group

Postpartum Support International

[source]

posted by super groovy BHAC Family Health writer: Sam

Comments

[katie ~ motherbumper]

It's amazing the stigma that depression can carry but if people are talking and sharing, and more importantly helping and supporting, positive things can happen. Great post Sam.

[Mamalooper]

Great post.

The CrAzInEsS is how even though you know it could happen, when you are in the midst of it, you can be blinded to it.

Had a bout of PPD with the girl and could have got some help for it soooo much earlier. Tried too hard to tough it out.

[sam {temptingmama}]

@Katie:
Thanks babe! Talking is the MOST important thing, but the fear of judgment keeps too many women silent.

@Mamalooper:
Hindsight is definitely 20/20 isn't it? When you're in the throws of it all, it's impossible to see that you are affected. I probably wouldn't have gotten help had my parents not said something.

[Her Bad Mother]

You rock. That is all.

[sam {temptingmama}]

@HBM:

As do you my friend!

xoxoxooxo

[Vic @ Glowstars]

An amazing post. As with a lot of these things, you really have to be hit by it to understand exactly what it is. I've unfortunately been treated for depression on and off for the past eight year, once instance was triggered by the birth of my son. It's not been an easy time, but with the help of medication and an excellent support network (including many bloggers), I'm finally getting my shit together and tackling the problem.

[Don Mills Diva]

Thank you for this.

I have seen depression nearly destroy so many people I love. People need to know that it is an illness and that there is no shame in it.