Debbie Phelps: Mom of the Olympics

Debbie Phelps is a mother, like any other, who has sacrificed for her children. She has spent countless hours pool side with her children Whitney, Hillary and Michael – all three, very active in swimming. Being a single parent proved difficult, but fiercely independent Debbie was able to keep up with their schedules with help from other swim moms and close friends which have developed into a tightly knit family.

With strong faith and a great support system she’s been very successful in many aspects of her life.

While Michael’s older sister, Whitney, was considered a ‘shoe-in’ as an Olympic athlete, Debbie says, “I never envisioned Michael to be of Olympic calibre”, but his coach, Bill Bowman, thought Michael had a “God given talent” and at the age of 11, Michael began being groomed into an Olympian.

“We sent him to best club in the country; look at how many thousand make trial cuts, I mean they’re scooping the only the cream at the top,” she says.

“Once Michael was considered of Olympic calibre, it caused a bit of turmoil at home,” says Debbie. When his sister Whitney didn’t make the Olympic team, it was a difficult time at home, but ordinarily, competitiveness between the three children was kept at bay due to the fact they were training in different age groups, if anything they encouraged each other to do better.

Debbie has successfully avoided the "stage-type-mom” stereotype with coaching from Bill Bowman (Michael’s coach). Many of the parents were taught to let their child lead themselves.  Debbie did not push, nor make him to do things he wasn’t ready for, or wanting, to do. “Team Phelps” taught Michael that he had this unbelievable opportunity available to him and it was up to him if he was going to waste it.
About success, Debbie says, “It’s here today, gone tomorrow...I have to go back to my mother’s lesson in valuing each day and making the best of it; you don’t know what’s going to happen next.”

Being that Michael was so young when his career as an Olympic hopeful came into fruition, it was important to establish a somewhat regular schedule at home. Homework was always completed prior to swimming; with Michael having ADHD it was crucial to establish that routine, his coach, along with the rest of “Team Phelps” were a cohesive and collaborative unit with only Michael’s best interests at heart.

While Michael was very successful in the pool, behind the scenes was difficult and painfully trying.

The locker room yielded bullying and tears for Michael. Debbie says she tried her best to empower him, “... to understand that all people are different, come  from different walks of life and some just don’t know how to be nice.” She taught Michael the significance of not resorting to violence because it doesn’t resolve anything.
Debbie is a big believer that it’s been important to lead by example; which apparently did not fall on deaf ears.
Debbie shared a particularly story of Michael leaving the locker room in tears at the hand of one particular bully who, a few years later, approached Michael to congratulate him on his success upon returning from the Sydney games.

“This bully, acting as if they were long time friends, asked Michael if he remembered him to which Michael replied he didn’t,” says Debbie. The bully relented after insisting a few times that Michael did know him.

Knowing that Michael did indeed know that bully she confronted him; Michael then replied, “he wasn’t going to give that bully the satisfaction of knowing that he did in fact remember him and all the torment he received by his hand”: this, from a 15 year old boy.

Debbie lets it be known that there is not a lot that Michael forgets.

Michael has always been very level headed. Debbie always tried to play the middle ground by letting him experience life (dances, parties, etc.) at his own peril. She’d give him the tools and allow him to make his own decisions. Which thankfully, he made the right ones: setting his own curfew and being the designated driver.

Michael had, and continues to have, a great support group from his true friends. They understood the need for Michael to be home on time for an early morning practice – which made it easy for Michael not to succumb to peer pressure.

Debbie hopes that the values she’s instilled in him while growing up with continue throughout life with him as he learns to live in the public eye. As any parent would, Debbie’s been very protective of Michael with his new found fame and fortune. She’s diligently tried to teach him the difference between people that want to take advantage of you and ones that are your true friends.

Upon returning from the Sydney games, Michael came home from school one day asking if he could go to the movies with a friend. “Who is this friend?” inquired Debbie, to which Michael replied that she was a senior at his school. Debbie asked, “Michael, you’re a freshman. Was she your friend before Sydney?” Michael replied that she was not, and with that, Debbie said no.

“You don’t want your child to get burnt,” she stated, “You don’t want him to get used...I too get approached by people who say they know me and I don’t know them... I meet people who are excited by Michael and I ask them how many swim meets they’ve been to... he gets so caught up with people, like on Facebook, how many of those people does he really know?... there are people who haven’t been around for years and are all of a sudden cropping up now that Michael is world famous.”

As for herself, Debbie has been very busy with writing a book about parenting an athlete, which she had hoped to be released prior to the Olympics, but it has been put off. After a whirlwind summer of being named Johnson’s Mom of the Olympic Games, campaigns for J&J and Chicos, Debbie has returned to school Windsor Mill Middle School where she is principal.

Head over to the Johnson’s site to see the “ThanksMom” campaign which ran throughout the games and Debbie’s “Thanks Michael” commercial which aired throughout the closing ceremonies.

[ image sources: photo1 photo2 ]

Comments

[ali]

awesome interview!

i can't even imagine how hard and unbelievable it must be to be his MOM!

[Shania]

Great article!

[mamatulip]

I remember the first interview I did - my palms were so sweaty the phone kept slipping out of my hand.

No, seriously.

Great article, Sam!

[Theresa]

You did a great job on the interview. I would love to have talked with Debbie Phelps. She is an amazing mother.